Me.

So, I had a check up at the Dr. on Monday. I am starting a new pain med. and I think that will help my physical quality of life a lot. At least I hope it will. It already seems to be working WAY better than the previous one.

My Dr. suspects I may have sleep apnea... What?! Based on some symptoms I've been having, and the Dr. speaking with Kelly who has confirmed that I appear to stop breathing at times during the night, she decided to send me for a sleep study. I'm not really looking forward to it, but if it provides some answers and helps me sleep better, and in turn have better mornings and days, then I'll do it.

I hate missing out on things because of not feeling well, and I hate having to cancel. So, for those of you who have had extreme patience when I've had to call off plans at the last minute, thank you from the bottom of my heart. One of my deepest fears is that no one will give me a chance anymore. Would I even give me a chance if the situation was reversed? It's a lonely place sometimes.

I don't talk about my health a whole lot, and I never have on this blog before. I don't want to complain, I don't want to be negative, and I don't want to have an unGodly outlook at the portion God has allowed. Although it's a HUGE part of my life, I still don't want my identity to be "that woman with chronic illness." I have learned to live in spite of the pain for the most part. If I was crabby every time I was hurting, well, I'd be crabby most of the time! That's not the person I want to be, that's not the person God made me to be. I know it's hard to understand what's going on with my health...I don't even understand it myself half the time. There are people who don't believe me, and there are those that believe they have a miracle quick fix. I hate disappointing other people...hearing frustration in their voice...seeing annoyance on their faces.

I know this was a random post, but I just needed to talk it out...er, write it out.

*****************************************************************

Pain.

External, internal, gut wrenching, soul bearing, heart throbbing, aching, longing, lonely, misunderstood, betrayed, ignored, shamed, self-loathing, confidience bursting, character questioning, embarrassing, overwhelming, crippling, judging, hurtful, sad, hopeless, empty, relentless, cruel, misunderstood, guilty, back-stabbing.

A savior.

Tear wiping, soul cleansing, heart mending, filling, understanding, loving, gracious, involved, friend, sin erasing, uplifting, embracing, freeing, leading, rest, comforting, safe, hope, peace, faithful, kind, true, just, solid, sweet, accepting, generous, available, ever-lasting.

Healing.

Be still...

"Be still, and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

The heart determines behavior

I've been reading a really good book called "Shepherding a Child's Heart," by Tedd Tripp. It was recommended to me at my baby shower by Kelly's cousins... and I'm just getting around to reading it!

You know how they say that the two things in life that teach us more about ourselves than anything else are 1) marriage, or 2) having children? Well, reading this "parenting" book has exposed a lot of wisdom about the condition of the human heart. It touches on the basics of a heart wholly surrendered to Christ, and the subsequent behavior that mirrors His righteousness. It is the quest for righteousness that should drive our children's behavior, and OUR behavior.

Here is a small excerpt from the book,


"The heart determines behavior.

Learn, therefore, to work back from behavior to the heart. Expose heart struggles. Help your children see that they were made for a relationship with God. The thirst of the heart can be satisfied in truly knowing God."

Hmmmmm...does MY OWN behavior reflect a heart that loves the Lord? Do I behave in a way that honors Him? Are my words and actions filled with contentment, tenderness, calmness, joy, quietness, patience, kindness, peace, and love? Or are they laced with discontentment, negativity, anger, agitation, dispair, impatience, rudeness, worry, and hate? Do I fake a "righteous" behavior in public, but behave poorly at home with my children and husband? If I have a behavior problem, I have a heart problem.

Godly attributes cannot be faked. They overflow from a heart that is filled with Him. In order to be filled with Him, I have to know Him. I have to expose my heart struggles. I have to surrender my behavior. I have to seek the ultimate heart doctor and allow Him to heal me.

Luke 6:45
The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.


The words to this song are perfect.

Change my heart oh God,
make it ever true
Change my heart oh God,
may I be like you.

You are the potter,
I am the clay.
Mold me and make me,
this is what I pray.

Wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Our internet isn't working :(. Soooooo I will only be able to check my email/blog/etc. sporadically until we figure it out.

Won't ya miss me?!




P.S. I am still available by phone or text!

Karyn Sharin' -- Amazon toy sale

Haven't posted any bargains in a while and with Christmas right around the corner, I thought this may help some of you.

http://www.amazon.com/


They are having their TOY SALE and seriously have some AMAZING deals right now! Orders over $25 are shipped free, if the items you order say "eligible for super saver shipping." (most items qualify)

I think we're getting this for Aspen-

Baby Alive learns to potty- he he he!

Regular price $59.99

Sale price $18.99!!!!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00160HTUW/ref=ord_cart_shr?%5Fencoding=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&v=glance

My husband wants this...
http://www.amazon.com/Air-Hogs-Havoc-Heli-Colors/dp/B000NSFO3W/ref=pd_mw_t_23?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games
(apparently, the age range should be 8 to 34)


Check it out!
Happy Shopping!

Summer blessings

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik


The doorbell rang yesterday. I do not answer the door when Kelly isn't home. I peeked out the window and saw the flower delivery van. Hmmmm.... I figured it was a late delivery for Kelly's birthday (why someone would send a man flowers, I don't know). I opened the door and was handed a beautiful arrangement complete with my favorite colored purple ribbon and pot. The card had my name on it! I tore open the card and was immediately moved to tears. My very dear bff sent me flowers, because she knows our life has been a bit more trying lately and she wanted me to know she is thinking of me and there for me. What a blessing. A totally unexpected, but heart warming, blessing.





Thank you Summer, from the bottom of my heart---for the flowers, for the encouragement, for the extra grace, for your kind heart, for your friendship, for everything you've done for me.



LOL

Happy Birthday Kelly!!!

You're hilarious!



You can fall asleep anywhere.



You enjoy the outdoors, and one of the greatest joys in my life has been watching you be a dad to our little girl. Your love for her melts my heart.




You are my best friend.





You show me in you love me in so many ways.

You kill the spiders. You compliment me. You listen. You understand my heart. You always check when I hear a weird noise at night. You let me shop. You rub my legs when they hurt. You protect me. You fix the covers. You drive carefully when I'm putting my make-up on in the car. You hold me when I cry. You treat me better than I deserve. You take interest in the things I'm passionate about. You don't complain when the house is a mess. You apologize when you're wrong. You work hard. You want my opinion. You pray for me and Aspen. You defend me. You make me laugh all-the-time. You love our families. You get up with Aspen in the night. You sing. You love the Lord.


Happy birthday honey.

I love you and I love the way you love me.

They are new every morning

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3: 22-23







Because of the Lord's kindness I am not done, I am not over, nor completed. HE does not change. His compassion does not cease. His mercies are fresh at the break of day and His stability is abundant.








(The photo is the sunrise outside my front door a few weeks ago)

Um, Aspen, you have lipstick on your teeth...and ALL OVER YOUR FACE!

See the new header picture? She's done it again! When will I learn that when Aspen is really quiet for more than 2 minutes, it means she's into something?!?! And how come she finds my MAC lipstick and not my wet & wild lipstick? She decided to add some black (MAC) eye liner this time also. Fabulous.

Oh, that little beautiful mess...

Finally home!

Aspen and I have been gone for 12 days! Although we had a wonderful time with friends and family, we are happy to be home. Shortly after we arrived home late last night, I asked Aspen, "was that a fun trip, punkin?" Aspen replies, "Yes, Karyn."

Could she BEE any cuter?

Cutest batman Josh


Our worship pastor, rock on!






The best costume ever!






She kept reeling instead of just pulling it up, Daddy was proud.


And the meltdown begins


More meltdown


Meltdown finale

New Aspenisms

Aspen: Hey, where'd my hair go?

****

Grammie: See Aunt Laura's glasses?

Aspen: I like eyes.


****

Aspen: (toots)

Mommy: Excuse you tooter!

Aspen: Here comes another one!

(she is her father's daughter)


****

Aspen: What's oar name?

Translation: What's your name?

****

Aspen: I want hungry!

Translation: She's hungry.


****

Aspen: Hold you!

Translation: She wants you to hold her.


****

Aspen: Rock you!

Translation: She wants you to rock her.


****


While walking by a window display of wildly painted and decorated cowboy boots, Aspen stops and says "Hey, it's Grammie's shoes!"

****

While shopping in Old Navy, Aspen is playing with a football. She looks at it and says "hey it's Grandpa!" I take the football and turn it over to find she was looking at a picture of a ghost.

Aspen is so much fun right now! And she's so much work right now! She is a busy, chatty, messy little hurricane!


Aspen LOVES to sing and dance. She will talk and talk and talk. Sometimes the words are real, and sometimes they are not. If you say a word while she's chattering away, she will work it into her conversation.


She likes to put diapers on everything. All of her animals and even her ken doll, whom she has affectionately named Marshall, after her cousin, have diapers on.


She lines things up as well. Books, clothes, toys, her food, whatever.

Aspen has discovered the movie Cinderella. We watch it every day.

I love my little girl!




Poor Ken (Marshall)

Road trip! Momma (with kids in tow) Style!

About a month and a half ago (yes, I am behind), my fantastic friend Amanda invited Aspen and I to join her and her boys on a trek up to Portland. No husbands, lots of active kiddos, two nights in a hotel room, a bunch of chat time, and a ton of fun. The main highlight of our trip was going to the zoo!



Same side snoozers.




Aspen had a bit of trouble settling down for sleeping, because her "fwends" were much more interesting :/



Aspen had to hold J's hand nearly the entire time at the zoo, he was very sweet to oblige.




Little birdies in a nest.




Daddy would have liked this exhibit.

This cracked me up, J was being a "lazy farmer."

Aspen's "fwends."

A grumpy cowgirl.

My cutie pie.

Aspen LOVED the hippos. "Hippo swimming."

The zebra was beautiful.

Aspen and mommy.

Aspen with her outfit inspiration in the background.

Pretty baby.

She may have loved this part more than the hippos!

Totally OUT!

2's.........for fun

Two names you go by:
1. Monster (that's what Kel calls me :) )
2. Mommy

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Kelly's shirt
2. My sweatpants


Two things you would want(or have) in a relationship:
1. Grace
2. Love

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Be with my fam
2. Shop!

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. A baby
2. Money (ha ha ha)


Two people who will fill this out:
1. don't know
2. everyone

Two things you did yesterday:
1. marched with Aspen
2. went to Worship practice

Two things you ate yesterday:
1. Peanut Butter (shocker)
2. Cheerios

Two people you last talked to:
1. Amanda
2. Mom

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Going to a baby shower!
2. Getting things ready to sell on ebay

Two Favorite Holidays
1. Christmas
2. St. Patrick's Day (because it's my birthday!)

Favorite beverages:
1. Diet Dr. Pepper
2. Mt. Dew

Two People, no longer alive, who you'd like to talk to:
1. My Grandpa Arensmeier (mom's dad, died before I was born)
2. My Grandpa Nelson (dad's dad, died in 2003)

Just wanted to say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!!!




A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
-Arnold Glasgow

Hope your day was relaxing and full of rejoicefulness! :)

An addition to the Phantom of the Opera post...

I totally forgot to mention Kelly's one and only problem with our seats at Phantom.

Apparently, the lady sitting in front of him was wearing a perfume that "made his eyelids hurt."

???

The Phantom of the Opera---1998 to 2008

Kelly and I are celebrating just a small milestone this month...our 10th ANNIVERSARY! I have more to write about that later, but I wanted to share pictures of the amazing gift my family got us.

When Kelly and I were dating, he surprised me with tickets to Phantom of the Opera at the Keller auditorium in Portland. We dressed up, went out to a fancy dinner and drove my dad's nice car (instead of Kelly's no window van). It was an out of the ordinary and very special date for us, and we both LOVED the show.

Fast forward to Labor Day weekend 2008, where we were having lunch with my fam. Kelly had to take Aspen home as she was having an overly tired meltdown. While sitting at the table, I looked down for just a moment. I looked back up to see my parents and sisters holding paper Phantom "masks" over their faces. The tickets were passed to me in a specially made holder designed by my ever-creative sis Jenn. She had even included a seating chart highlighting two seats in the first balcony. We were surprised with a impromptu trip that evening to the Phantom of the Opera, at Keller auditorium. I cried, of course.

We dressed up, went out to a fancy dinner after the show, and drove my dad's nice car! LOL! Of course, this time, childcare for Aspen was necessary, but that too was part of the gift. Our seats were perfect. We were on the end, separated from anyone else by a big pole. I think we enjoyed the show even more, or at least in a different way, than we did 10 years ago. We have a lot more appreciation now for the amazing vocalists. The sets are just incredible, and the actors were stupendous. It was awesome.

So thank you family for such a thoughtful gift!!!

Today Aspen says...

"I take pockets to Grammie and Grandpa's!"




And I just have to say that she definitely has a Braaten mouth! :)